


The time will come

by Relenita



Series: NaNoWrimo fics [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 09:30:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9432884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relenita/pseuds/Relenita
Summary: Hinata’s development over his own self, his crusade to keep his classmates in one piece and how Komaeda’s life gets in the middle of it.And then next to him.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FreakySandra1995](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreakySandra1995/gifts).



> This is an exchange for the KomaHina Secret Exchange in tumblr.  
> Due to complications (Me without a PC) I couldn't publish it until now.  
> I wanted to mix the three requests in a single fic, which where Domestic AU, Comfort after a nightmare (Or NWP, it kinda falls into it, isn’t it?) and first kiss/ time.  
> There was no beta, so all mistakes are mine.

> _The bile roses to his throat as he sees his classmate beat him in a three-legged race. It’s fourth grade, his knees are scraped and has a missing tooth, barely ten years and yet he’s familiar with the utter disappointment that comes with the second place._
> 
> _Good, better than the rest, but neverthe best._
> 
> _Hinata quickly brushes his tears with his arm, dirt leaving a spot on his face._
> 
> _If only he didn’t fall, if only he was paired with other person, someone who kept his pace and not looked at the boy she likes and thus fell to the floor dragging him with her?_
> 
> _“Why?” Hinata whispered as the girl who ran with him untied the bow from their joined ankles and ran to congratulate the winner. “Why is never me?”_
> 
> _Water blocked his eyesight again, but this time someone taller walked towards him._
> 
> _Long brown hair, clever eyes, a suit and a dashing smile appeared._
> 
> _“Mom?” Hinata stood up quickly and ran to her mother, crying openly. He failed and yet she received him with a tight hug._
> 
> _“Love, you’ll get it next time. You always work so hard.” She kneels in front of her son, wiping away the renewed tears with her blouse. She then proceeds to take out a lollipop from her bag, unwrap it and hand it to her son._
> 
> _She caressed his cheeks softly, pinched them softly._
> 
> _“Hajime, patience is a virtue. Your time will come, I know it! Now let’s go home” Hinata takes the hand his mother offers and together walk towards the exit of the school, neither of them staying to see how the kid who won the race gets his trophy._
> 
> _His mom looks at him and he can tell she’s proud, she’s happy for the second place but Hinata burns for the podium. The recognition escapes from his fingertips and she can tell this bothers Hinata, but if only knew how much._
> 
> _‘Yes, mom’ He thinks with the lips quivering and the blurry eyes ‘Next time I’ll do it!’_
> 
> _It never comes._
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

An erratic beeping wakes him up instantly as the remnants of his childhood dream are still fresh in his mind. While is expected for it to be compromised in its balance and stability during the waking from the Neo World Program, knowing the consequences is completely different from experiencing them first hand. Needless to say he could really do without the painkillers he takes each time his head decides to destroy itself.

The clashing information is a constant since Naegi disconnected his capsule and explained the situation he’s in, the state of his classmates with their deleted avatars and what he have to deal with the survivor’s panic attacks and current illnesses. Lost was a small word to describe how each part of his body felt as the reality sunk in, how the others were waking up and each of them looked quite differently from their memories before the school and the fragments from the Neo World Program. Ironically now he can thank Hope’s Peak for putting a genius chimera on his persona as he’s the best chance for all of them to have for a future, because he didn't want to consider what they would have done if Kamukura was out of the picture.

The beeping continues taking Hinata away from his thoughts as he moves towards the control panel, taps quickly the keys and determines what’s wrong with the capsule he’s now attending. The pieces ensamble inside his brain, clicking in each exact part as needed and he feels how everything moves. 

The doubtful self changes to a clinical one in the blink of an eye.

He surveys the metallic cage and white hair, an oxygen mask and a disjointed arm appear, silence so contradictory to his patient’s presence, the green glow from the capsule on his face made him look even sicker, and a fragility appears before his eyes he can kick himself for not noticing before.

Komaeda Nagito.

Another thing clicks inside him, a different pattern now scattered in this thoughts as his voice take a moot tone. He feels how his brain multiplies as he considers each signal on the screen from different angles, each talent proving the other each thesis.

It’s a good thing his talents are complementing each other in this situation and not cancelling. The brainstorm is welcomed.

“Breathing pattern: normal, blood pressure: slightly accelerated. Small shock. Brain waves: erratic” the screen throws data and, as Hinata reads, his mind diagnoses automatically as the symptoms appear.

“Sweating present under armpits, brow, lips and under his arms. Temperature three degrees lower than ideal”

Panic attack.

Probably a reaction to the impulses I sent before to wake him.

Frontal lobe active.

“Body temperature two degrees lower than ideal. Tremors in legs and arms. Minor movement of the upper side of the body”

A nightmare or a relapse of paranoia.

Possible consequence of ghost limb.

“Synapsis higher than usual. Eyelid movement erratic. Pulse accelerated. Parasympathetic system strained. Left arm moved 23º degrees higher”

Ghost limb.

Triggered a panic attack during lucid time.

He moves from the control panel to the supplies area, putting gloves and a coat to diminish any possibility to infect his patient and opens the capsule carefully.  The platform gets horizontal and Hinata lifts the sheet to diagnose Komaeda’s left arm.

Black, silver and white grace his eyes, as the robotic prosthetic lays there as if it was the one made of flesh. There’s no open wounds nor a rejection of the materials used to the arm. He pinches Komaeda’s upper arm and sees how the nerves are sending impulses to the prosthetic, moving the fingers slightly, just as normal ones would act on a reflex. The silver gleam the fingers make as Komaeda moves them feels odd. 

“His problem manifests while he’s lucid. No showing of lack of responses to reflexive impulses or touches” he says to no one while he analyses Komaeda. Then he lowers the sheet and proceeds to check the brain scans carefully.

His hands are still on Komaeda’s arm and he can’t help but keep them there as he continues.

“Regenerative treatment advances as expected, mother cells make his brain cells react to impulse in a harmonious pattern. Degenerative state controlled. Extraction of lymphoma left no detriment in regeneration. Continue administering treatment until otherwise shown”

His babbling organizes his thoughts as he surveys Komaeda, probably one of the distinct trait he has as Kamukura. It helps him focus about what needs to be done and not get lost in his own mind. It's a checklist inside his head, carefully storing anything relating to Komaeda inside a little box, organized and clean from other thoughts. 

The same information goes to his heart but he doesn't bother to analyze it why.

He knows either way.

Hinata is trying to get the hang of his brain changing his talents and multitasking instantly but it drains him. He closes the capsule, disposes the doses of the drugs and supplements he’s using on Komaeda and, as soon as he finishes, he collapses in the nearest chair available.

“Please, wake up” He allows himself to say in the lone room and he shifts from seeing Komaeda as a patient to see him as… whatever he was to him in the program.

His brain keeps up with him but his body needs to pick up the pace, his shoulders sag even when he didn’t lift anything, his eyes feel like closing. He grabs a glass of water nearby his station, gets into one of the medic trails and doses off.

“Wake up, Komaeda”.

* * *

 

> _A cheerful laugh resonates near him, as the playful tone seems charmed by his mere existence, something new to Hinata who was second to everyone. He didn’t know what his talent was and yet Komaeda seems fascinated with him since the first time they met. He would say smitten, but probably he's reading too much into it._
> 
> _Komaeda is used to silence and Hinata prefers it too, leaving him able to finally breathe and break the efficient persona he's forced to put up to control himself thanks to the damn bear and his warning, the worry on his shoulders left his body as this guy almost floated around him, like the moon._
> 
> _They clicked._
> 
> _Hinata’s eyes diverted to Komaeda’s hair by themselves._
> 
> _It looked very soft._
> 
> _He wanted to touch it, but he didn’t even allow himself to ask Komaeda._
> 
> _Of course, Komaeda's eyes met his in the same moment and he can't help but to run from those eyes as the other chuckles. He noticed, he always did._
> 
> _“You’re very careful, Hinata. Oddly so if I’m allowed to say” Komaeda comments during their first free time, wind on their faces as they strode over the warm sand of the beach, and Hinata shakes his head slightly, calmer than before._
> 
> _“It isn’t the first time I’ve been told that, you know?” Hinata turned towards Komaeda with a smirk and leaned forward slightly. “Don’t sweat it”. Hinata takes another swing of his bottle while Komaeda looks at him amused. “What, do I have something on my face?”_
> 
> _“You’re not very tactful, you know?”_
> 
> _“There’s a point in it?” Komaeda simply chuckles and Hinata feels compelled to follow. For the first time in the island Hinata feels he can be himself without caring what the other thinks, or keeping appearances. The laughter removes the tension on his back and he relaxes._
> 
> _After a while Hinata notices he’s the only one laughing, Komaeda is simply looking at him. The silence becomes awkward._
> 
> _“What is it, Komaeda?”_
> 
> _“It suits you, Hinata”_
> 
> _“What?!”_
> 
> _“Your laugh. It suits you”_
> 
> _The blood rose to his cheeks and ears, he felt electricity on his spine and suddenly he didn’t know how to react. Hinata didn’t speak, but his mouth opened and closed like a fish, all captured by Komaeda’s attentive eyes._
> 
> _He felt like he was boiling, his skin heated and his eyes opened at the adoring gaze upon him. Like he finally got his prize after a hard work and now he didn’t know what to do with it._
> 
> _They remained in silence, both enjoying the moment._
> 
> _Is this how it feels to be… admired?_
> 
> _Loved?_
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

His eyes opens as now the alarms start to ring in the medical centre. Lucidity takes over, vanishing the slumber from his limbs as he stands and quickly walks towards the supplies, once again he dresses up and studies the signals.

Before he can scan the data on the screen and analyze what's happening to Komaeda,  a bionic arm crashes against the inner surface of the capsule. 

He looks up to the screen above Komaeda and he knows what he will read.

Panic attack due to his missing limb. Erratic behaviour.

First sympathetic and lucid action from his deteriorated brain after the surgery.

Hinata opens the capsule and, while it lays low, he catches Komaeda as he punched air instead of the hardened crystal of the capsule. It’s fortunate his grasp is prepared to feel the strength of a metallic limb without breaking in the process, however Komaeda isn't as glad by the fight he's now putting to free himself.

“Breathe, Komaeda. Inhale deep–”

“What the fuck is happening here–?!” Komaeda asks while his eyes looks vacant, almost savage. He looks from side to side of the room, shifting his eyes instead of turning his head, the sweat on his brow visible thanks to the lights of the capsule Komaeda is laying in. “W-What are you doing here? **What** is here?!”

He was expecting this, the lost visage and the fight or flight reaction Komaeda has now. It seems he settled for fight. 

Well, better change approach.

Hinata decides to hold him lightly, keeping his arms out of reach of his face while lifting Komaeda’s torso towards him. Of course there’s rejection to the touch but he prefers to endure.

He can’t imagine what it must be to die and wake up again. And in Komaeda’s case it may be worse.

Hinata tries to not remember the pale skin, the cuts all over his legs, the gash on his left hand. The final scream of death on Komaeda's face.

His mind clicks once again.

“Listen. Breathe deeply. You’re going into shock” His voice turns low, calm; but Komaeda will have none of it in his current state.

“What are YOU doing here?! Answer me!” Komaeda shouts and starts to hyperventilate, his chest going up and down frantically. Hinata gets closer to Komaeda’s face, knowing for some reason closeness may help his patient.

He puts his hand in Komaeda’s right wrist and drags it to his own heart. Hinata never leaves Komaeda’s wrist as he speaks.

“Komaeda, listen to me. You’re in shock in this moment. Feel your heartbeat. You’re here. With me. This is real. Listen to my voice, to my breathing. Look at my eyes and focus on your breathing” His eyes never leave Komaeda’s wild ones, who lessens his shakes. The cold sweat permeates Hinata’s hands, but he continues, completely focused on Komaeda. “Listen to my voice, concentrate on the fact you’re listening to it. You’re feeling your own chest, your body. You’re here. Breathe.”

Komaeda’s eyes shift slightly to his left side, his chest trembling once more as he catches sight of the now metallic hand attached to him.

The mood changes as terror instals in Komaeda's features.

“What did you do to me?” Komaeda’s voice is soft and lost as he speaks, begs. The shock once again takes reign of his patient and Komaeda plants his face against Hinata’s chest as he screams horrified, muffled by Hinata’s coat and shirt. A chant of ‘What’ and ‘Why’ take over his damaged throat, losing intensity as the time passes.

Hinata’s arms never stop holding Komaeda.

After a moment the scream silences, he faints in the aftershock, offering him a rest.

Hinata’s mind however is a maelstrom of feelings, thoughts, conjectures and emotions he can’t get the hang of it. As Hinata he knew boundaries and feelings, frustrations and goals, but as Kamukura he only knew data, information and erased anything relevant to his emotions.  

The current lapse of emotional and rational processes in his brain clashes, once again testing his mental endurance and capability to adapt. He looks down where the white hair clouds his view and the cold sweat sweeps through his shirt and his heart feels like is tearing apart.

His body moves swiftly, taking Komaeda in his arms from the capsule he was laying in towards the medical rooms he had  ahead, wordlessly carrying him while his insides try to settle down. In a way both Hinata and Kamukura’s persona complement each other depending the situation he’s in, but right now the forceful tearing of Kamukura’s emotions and Hinata’s null dealing with them provoke mayhem in his mind.

He deals with it the only way it has been working so far: Talking to himself.

“Change of the medical treatment. Include recover of the movement of lower limbs, strength and stamina. Consider a change from his daily dose of medicine and supplements. Start a psychological therapy”.

_He’s alive. He’s finally alive._

“Continue the dose for lymphoma treatment, develop a method to regenerate tender muscle and brain cells. Consider take another route towards his bionic arm, further exercises and therapy in experimentation process. If proves insufficient his work, call for Souda and Tsumiki”.

_He’s with me, talking, breathing. Alive._

_His chest moves, his eyes looked at me._

_He’s with me._

“Study ways to regrow muscle tissue without intervention. Ask Nidai for new ideas to also help with his own psychological treatment. Delegate to Tsumiki. Contact Naegi for information and recordings from Neo World Program”.

_I can tell him. I can share it with him._

_He returned to me._

His musings stop as he arrives to a medical room without nameplate. Hinata opens the door with his leg, carefully maneuvering his charge and the balance of his body, then he puts Komaeda softly on the bed, adjusting his limbs under the covers and puts a pillow bellow his head.

The entire time Hinata’s hands have been firm and sure while his mind shouts at him in different directions. The conflict emotions generate inside him aren’t welcome when he has Komaeda, his patient (his charge, his… _companion_ ) under his wing. His throat dries at the thought of their physical closeness and how even as he’s alone with Komaeda, he still has problems dealing with the turmoil the other provokes in him. His memories are messy thanks to the constant intrusion either Enoshima, Hope’s Peak, Future Foundation or even himself did to his own cognitive function.

A bullet appears on his mind, red nails and a sinister yet excited smirk, a languid smile and a cheerful tone, a playful tone and carefree touches from the other, a spear and frozen eyes. The warmth of his hands and the cold of his face as he investigates a crime, the energy of his speeches and the poison of his words, the frantic fire of his passion over every little thing it managed to capture his attention and the care the other gave to Hinata as each step of the road made them go far away and closer at the same time.

He sits on Komaeda’s bed while he meditates, considering what he feels now, what it will come. How Komaeda will react to him and to his acts.

He leaves that for tomorrow.

* * *

 

> _The revelation of the laughter still rumbled against his ears, his fast pace as he returned to his cottage was the only thing keeping him from getting to Komaeda’s and shout at him. The electricity was on his veins after that trial, burned the inside of his skin and felt like he won the competition but the prize was bittersweet and he didn’t feel good at all._
> 
> _“Lost?”_
> 
> _And he heard his voice. Tantalizing, dripped slowly against his face and bones. He can’t help but he turned and looked at him, lost in Komaeda’s mouth and wondered if this time the rope breaks._
> 
> _“No, I was just getting to my cottage, thank you very much” Sarcasm marked his words, tense as a string, a complete opposite of Komaeda’s lax posture. Eyes relaxed as he answered._
> 
> _“Even after a class trial you are still on guard. That’s commendable, Hinata”_
> 
> _“Shut up”_
> 
> _“Oh, my”_
> 
> _The other moved slowly but surely towards Hinata, while he waited for an attack, anything to react. He wasn’t going to admit he felt oddly excited at the prospect of something happening. What, he didn’t want know._
> 
> _(He wanted to know it, but never allowed himself to)_
> 
> _Komaeda’s arm surrounded his shoulders, the back of his neck and rested his hand on Hinata’s opposite shoulder, and looked at him as if he just found a precious gemstone. Hinata felt drawn to that sight, even if he didn’t admit it._
> 
> _“Mystery covers you, Hinata. And yet I’m completely taken by you, your talent shines like no other, maybe you aren’t just a stepping more, you’re so much more” Komaeda’s eyes never stopped shinning, focusing on Hinata’s face, drowning all he saw._
> 
> _“Why are you like this?” Hinata asked as he held Komaeda’s penetrant look without a flinch “What do you gain with this, to rile us up?”_
> 
> _Komaeda left his immediate vicinity, gave him his back and looked up. The warmth Hinata had against his skin left him. He bit his lip and tried to not give up to Komaeda’s ensnaring presence even if his heart exploded in his chest._
> 
> _“I want to see true hope, Hinata. That’s all of it” Komaeda turned to face Hinata, satisfied._
> 
> _Komaeda left and Hinata turned as fast as he could, opened his cottage, slammed the door as he got in and rested his body against it. He felt his heartbeat after that encounter, how his cheeks burned and he couldn’t believe how much Komaeda influenced each part of him._
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

“Everything is here, Hinata. Please let me know if you need more” Naegi’s nimble hands give him the USB memory device and he’s ready to analyse everything Komaeda did in the Neo World Program.

“Enoshima enjoyed to show us everything happening from the island by several cameras and points of view” Naegi continues as he walks next to Hinata “She wanted to make us despair over the fact we knew exactly what to do and when it would happen, but with our hands tied, unable to help”

Hinata agrees “That’s her modus operandi, in order to cause despair, not control or evil per se” he keeps eyeing the small device on his hand “Are you still trying to get us time, Naegi? This will cost you more than just your role in Future Foundation”

Naegi’s reply is immediate.

“I know it, and I’ll handle the consequences of my acts. Treating and freeing you all from Enoshima’s grasp was the best course of action in the long run. Killing for revenge or duty felt just like falling into her trap again” He looks at his hands, then at Hinata “Do not confide anything to Future Foundation. Not even a glimpse of what you’re doing here. I need you all to be alright”.

“You know I won’t, Naegi”

“Still, this is more for my peace of mind than anything. I don’t want to lose the chance of saying it, of warning you, even if it’s in your resolve already” Naegi sometimes reminds him of Komaeda, completely focused on his goal and able to put his life on the line without thinking twice if he believes the cause is worth it.

“Komaeda woke up three days ago” Hinata slips to Naegi and the other reacts instantly.

“How is he?! His arm is alright? How are his illnesses? I can always hand you reports of his medical history from Hope’s Pea–” Hinata raises a hand and lets Naegi breathe.

“I would appreciate it if you could do it” and Naegi’s face shows a frown.

“Don’t just suggest this, _ask me_ to do it. You’re all in my charge and I took this under my responsibility” Naegi rests his hand against Hinata’s shoulder “You’re also under my supervision and observation" Then Naegi smiles lightly at him calmly as he continues "Are you taking care of yourself?”

_Ah._

If anytime he considered Nanami or Koizumi as a mother hen, he knows Naegi takes the crown. The guy has multiple targets in his back and he has time to worry over everyone else, taking more weight he should be able to, and cares for everyone he meets, except him.

(Just like Hinata)

“I’m fine.”

Naegi shakes his head lightly and adds “I also watched you, Hinata. I talked to you and to Komaeda personally before plugging you two into the capsules and start the therapy. Gekkogahara programmed Nanami to focus specially in you two: Komaeda for his numerous illness and the possibility of having a backlash due to the therapy and you due to the difficulty to generate your avatar” He smiles, his eyes warm at Hinata and the latter is reminded of his own mother and the same pride eyes. “If you need help, tell me. Tell your classmates. Tell Komaeda”

After that he leaves shortly, Hinata still standing in the same place, watching him go.

As the smaller silhouette disappears, he returns to the medical facility and to his new patient.

The stroll is calm and Hinata sees everyone’s evolution with good eyes: Akane is all over Nidai, helping him regain the mobility of his arms and legs with massages and warming exercises, Sonia keeps Gundam amused as he practices his walking in the twin bars, his hamsters hanging from his scarf or Sonia’s hair, Kuzuryuu cuts apples and serves juice to Pekoyama, who feels overwhelmed but happy over the attention she receives, Souda speaks to Mioda and Tsumiki excited over new bands and cars, the other girls adding their own imput or stories, Nanami in the screen gives instructions to Koizumi, Saionji and Togami to move their arms and legs.

The last room is Komaeda’s, who’s looking directly to him as he opens the door.

“Good evening, Komaeda”

“Evening, Hinata” And then Hinata grabs the notebook containing Komaeda’s evolution in his condition, his coat, implements and his medical treatment. “You’re very reliable now, what happened to the reserve course student? Was that also a lie of hers?”

Inside or outside the program, Komaeda's curiosity is a force of nature. Hinata chuckles lightly and answers to the other.

“More or less, Komaeda” He answers as he opens Komaeda’s coat and checks his breathing with a stethoscope “Depends on who you ask, you could say he died for hope to be born, he never existed or he evolved from his ashes”

“But which one is the correct answer, Hinata?”

Hinata scratches the results on his notebook and he continues his checking with Komaeda’s heartbeat, fingertips dragging softly on Komaeda’s skin. “All of them are correct and wrong at the same time. I’m still Hinata, you know? The same one that—Komaeda? Your heartbeat spiked” He attempts to use the stetoscope but Komaeda lightly grabs his wrist.

“You’re still… checking me, Hinata” He makes a quick intake of air and continues “It’s complicated”.

And just like that the tension takes over the room, just as it has been these day’s fashion. The blood rises to his face and Hinata can’t help but let an exasperated sigh. “Komaeda, I know… I know you want to talk about what you said to me after we completed our bond but I—“

“It’s hard for me too” Komaeda admits and lowers his head, checking far away from the minds of them two “You shot me, you shook me up, gave me hope and despair, showed me there’s something to live for, let me down and then saved me. I—I can’t just sit here and pretend this does nothing to me.”

Part of Hinata want to roll eyes at himself for his insecurity and other part can’t digest what’s happening in front of his eyes in fear of what it may mean. Their lucks even cancel each other, giving Komaeda the time of his life to share with someone and his heart melts at the prospect of doing anything with him, of Hinata himself being a safe haven for Komaeda and how what he wanted for Komaeda is actually just Hinata.

But caution rules his actions too, denial has deep roots inside his demeanor and he wants to slap himself.

Think, breathe, focus. This is not the time.

It’s all over again, the same night after the first trial, the feelings and tremors in his body answering to Komaeda’s presence, but this time he knows everything, he understands his situation and he’s the one in control. And yet fears for the intensity of whatever his heart stores for the man in front of him and how it will drown them both.

Then Komaeda grabs Hinata’s hand with his metallic one and puts it against his face.

“I want to understand you more than anyone else, Hinata. More than yourself. Because maybe that’ll help me to understand what I feel for you and you feel for me” Komaeda keeps pushing, knowing even know with all his memories restored, with Kamukura’s part of him in tune with everything in this room, with Hinata’s insecure past and hunger for recognition, with him feeling he’s floating in the clouds. He knows Komaeda is pushing it. He never was the type to simply wait for the results to happen.

If only any part of him learned how to deal with an avalanche of emotions.

Hinata grabs Komaeda’s face by himself and speaks in a monotone tone but with an intense gaze, focusing complete and exclusively on Komaeda’s eyes the other is left speechless.

“I want to be next to you, to help you, to challenge you and cooperate with you, to get under your skin and keep you safe. I want to let you live a satisfied and free life. I want you free of me. I want you to feel complete and I don’t know why” Hinata feels Kamukura in his tongue, but he knows is something else, the cracks in his mind let slip the turmoil in his heart.

Both of them look at the other trying to convey what they feel, but neither put it into words.

Komaeda has always been the most adventurous of them, so he tries to speak but Hinata separates, swiftly closing Komaeda’s coat and regaining composure.

“I’ll return tomorrow morning for your next checking, Komaeda”

“Stop running away, Hinata.”

“I’m not”

“Yes, you are” and the warmth disappears into their normal interactions, tension returning between them. “But I won’t give up, Hinata. I won’t”

Komaeda’s eyes shine like Naegi’s, but the intensity is different. It’s a light Hinata can’t help but feel drawn to, that invites to discover what he has under seven keys inside him. Komaeda is an instigator by excellence, always going for what he wants, damned who’s in the middle of the way to get it.

Hinata only sighs and mentally concedes.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Komaeda”

He closes the door behind him as he gets out and he rests against it. Hinata breathes slowly and wonders when his mind and heart will finally synchronize and let him rest.

The next day follows a similar pattern:  Komaeda’s visits turn into a test of fire to his senses and endurance as he slowly mends the pieces of him Hope’s Peak tore apart or removed for being considered a nuisance. They did what he desired to do for the longest time he fought for the podium but now that he knows the consequences of it, he knows what he desires wasn’t the simple first place.

As soon as he carries the trail with Komaeda’s breakfast, he knows he’s on the other’s eye.

Komaeda catches everything faster, even when Hinata knows more as Kamukura, because there’s parts of himself he doesn’t want to touch, and the merge of both sides of him create the eternal dispute between facing what is happening and ignoring it to not cause problems. Komaeda never had that issue so he faces if upfront, demanding him to confront it even when they both aren’t sure what it will cause for them. It doesn’t help Hinata didn’t have a single glimpse of reaction to feelings as Kamukura because it would be welcome now, with the constant presence of Komaeda amplifying the storm by the minute and if his eyes tells him anything, he knows is intentional.

“So, how is it, how is to have both of you inside?” Komaeda asks while Hinata cheeks his knees, flex them with his hands and writes something on his notebook “I’m still trying to deal with the fact the person I spoke on the boat is you, you know?”

“I don’t believe is simply another me, but an extension of me done without my permission” Hinata answers without removing his eyes from Komaeda’s legs as he checks their mobility “Think of someone as a garden, an endless one where you can grow your traits, talents and memories. Everyone has a potential to achieve anything, but you develop as you grow, thanks to your experiences, your suffering, your victories and defeats. You cut it, mold it and pick which flowers you will put. A few flowers will blossom and others will wither, defining what your personality and skills are”

“You think yourself as a garden? It’s almost poetic, Hinata” Komaeda interrupts amused at his explanation, Hinata looks at him briefly and he can catch a glimpse of the other’s eyes completely taken with him before he returns to his role. “Why a garden, Hinata?”

“It’s the easiest way to understand” He adds and turns to the other knee as he continues “That also explain talent. Each flower won’t coexist with others easily, so talents are flowers who take too much space, too much resources. An ultimate talent is an anomaly, and you can’t achieve this without sacrificing something” Hinata looks up and sees Komaeda, taken by him. The eyes drinking on him, it’s exhilarating to get this much from Komaeda, from someone who wakes everything inside him, unnamed things and emotions.

He continues, reigning on the rush that look gives him “That explains why someone has one ultimate talent, maybe two. Your garden won’t handle anything else, because it takes everything, it consumes and that’s how it should be. After all a talent in such level is an anomaly. What happened to me– ” Hinata turns to the side, his voice sombre as he keeps talking “It’s as if someone grabbed my garden, every flower about to bloom, and tore apart part of it to make grown only the flowers they wanted to grow. They made them bloom by force, making each flower tear apart the other, clashing with the one next to it. That’s what Kamukura was, who I was when I woke up from the project” His memories are hazy of that time. He supposed he has himself to blame for it.

“By… _force_?”And Komaeda, the same who had poison in his words when he spoke that time in the island, now offers kindness, an attentive stance, comfort. Out of all people, Komaeda is the one who offers him help wordlessly “What do you mean exactly by that?”

_“If you need help, tell me. Tell your classmates. Tell Komaeda”_

Naegi’s words haunt him now, really these two seem to be connected by timing and intention, both wanting to help, but Komaeda also wants to keep him at his side and live under his skin. Is intoxicating.

Hinata takes a long breath and answers. The sooner he gets it out of his chest, the better.

“You don’t believe Hope’s Peak was thoughtful while striving in their goal to get their Ultimate Hope, isn’t it? Inane things, like emotions, memories and thoughts were erased, why let that wilt their precious garden when they could put all the talents they wanted inside me?” He takes Komaeda’s right hand and drags it across his forehead, where the line of tissue is still noticeable “I allowed it to be done, in a way.”

Komaeda's eyes widen a little. 

"You...allowed it?" For how his face looks, it seems Komaeda is more talking to himself than to Hinata, as if weighing his own words with his memories.

"I was desperate. And they knew how to use that on me"

They stay for a while like this, the sun reflecting on their profiles as both digest what’s happening between them: Hinata opening to others and Komaeda taking all of Hinata to himself.

Silence joins him as he exits the room, leaving Komaeda once again in his bed, tucked safely and looking at him.

Komaeda’s eyes never leave his back.

As Hinata lays in bed, waiting for sleep to take him, he can’t believe what he confessed to Komaeda, how he let them get in his turbulent problems and feels the thin line dividing them, dividing his feelings and logic, every border inside him melts slowly.

It took him one month and half to tell the same thing to Naegi as he was counseling him during his own treatment and yet with Komaeda it came after two weeks later.

Before sleep takes him away, he concludes that Komaeda has always been special.

* * *

 

> _It was not until he lost it that he knew how much he cherished that warm and attentive look in Komaeda’s eyes. First vacant and weak due to a disease the damn bear put on them, and this time he had to thank Enoshima once again for the information she leaked in the prize of the Final Dead Room._
> 
> _He felt like suffocating, as if Komaeda’s presence sucked the air inside the room each time he was near him, he seemed bigger than everyone in the place, stronger, faster. Absolute._
> 
> _Hinata briefly wondered if he listened to him before, if he paid attention to each theatrical stunt of his, he would be able to understand Komaeda better than now, if that knowledge was able to cover the hole that formed in his chest as each glance is distant and icy. Logic and caution tattered in his demeanor as he ignored them, tried to decipher that constant._
> 
> _“Why do I care about you?” Hinata wondered into the night as each day got closer to the end of their trip._
> 
> * * *

“Don’t leave, Komaeda”.

He flinches as someone shakes his shoulder and as he opens his eyes and sees Komaeda. Hinata's about to fall to the floor but his reflexes are honed though, so he simply uses the adrenaline through his body to keep himself in check and not scare the person in front of him.

“Are you awake, Hinata? You were talking in your sleep” Hinata looks to each side, recognizing his own room but wondering why Komaeda is here. “Tsumiki asked for you, my exams are ready. I’m sorry for waking you”

Exams.

Brain scanners in order to observe the evolution of his treatment.

His gamble to get Komaeda back on his feet, or better if he had a say about it.

But a part of him tingles, a distant alarm ringing in the back of his mind as Komaeda hands him the files.

“Thank you, and don’t worry. I was expecting them. I guess I should’ve considered how tired I was” His brain and body still drain him. He needs to rest but he sees the files, analysing what each of them told him. Some of them surpassed his expectations. “It seems you’re better than I thought, Komaeda. Your lymphoma is completely gone, no roots took place inside your bloodstream  and now I can focus in the regeneration of the tissue, which is the easiest part of—“

“Why were you scared, Hinata?” Komaeda interrupts and the alarms ring louder in his mind, as if an invisible hand searched inside his memories while still keeping up with the events developing in front of his eyes. The answer clicks instantly and the ringing turns deafening.

_Don’t leave, Komaeda._

“Please, forget about it”

“How can I?” Komaeda asks seriously, and damn, Hinata really doesn’t want to test himself, not when he’s this tired.

“I need to focus in this, Komaeda. I need to determine your treatment” and he knows he gives out a contradiction as soon as the words left his mouth.

“No, you’re Kamukura too, you won’t let it slip easily, not with that focus of yours. What’s happening, talk to me” Komaeda both pleads and commands and Hinata wants to bang his head against the wall. He feels in the class trial again, but just against Komaeda and the very thought of it suffocates him.

“Information and emotions are different for me. I can’t keep check of both of them with the same ease” He hopes Komaeda would let it be, but of course the other replies.

“Like your garden story?” Komaeda pushes, his eyes never leaving Hinata’s.

“Now… is different as I told you before. I’m mending my garden, putting those flowers back to where they belonged, but now there’s others in their way and I have to make space, to put limits and try they’ll coexist in peace. It isn’t easy, Komaeda.” He knows the other is getting the hang of what it happens inside him, but that doesn’t deter him to keep pushing, asking until he sates his need to know.

“Then talk to me. I’m not good at many things, but if I’m any help for you, just tell me” Hinata wants to shout and the turmoil gets stronger. Thoughts clash with eachother without mercy.

> _Kiss me. Hold me._
> 
> _Please quiet down, I need time._
> 
> _Keep looking me like this forever._
> 
> _There’s more pressing matters. Your health is on the line, Komaeda._
> 
> _Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I’m right._
> 
> _Not now. Not until I’m ready._
> 
> _Stay next to me._
> 
> _I’m scared of what I feel. Of what I may do to you._
> 
> _Mend my mind. Wreck it._
> 
> _Free yourself from me._
> 
> _Stay at my side._
> 
> _Be happy._
> 
> _Collect each piece I leave behind._
> 
> _Don’t leave._

“I—I’ll try, Komaeda. I promise I try. But not now” Hinata stands from the bed, puts on the coat and leaves the room with Komaeda at his side. “For now let me see if I can get you back in your two feet”.

“I’m in them right now, Hinata”.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it”

Komaeda concedes and simply keeps pace with Hinata’s steps. It’s going to be a long night for them. The stroll is tense and as Komaeda once again gets in the twin bars to practice his jumps and balance on his feet Hinata wants to rest on his bed forever.

* * *

 

> _Lips against his own and the faint weight of a body against him made his blood boil as he tried his best to hold back while also enjoyed the closeness as much as he could. His eyes are closed, only his hands and lips tasted the other, his ears perceived the small gasps and his tongue felt the impatience and fervent need of melt._
> 
> _The friction felt nice against his clothes, hardening and yet he was focused in the way the other made him ignite something inside him nothing else could._
> 
> _A glove covered the side of his neck, lightly stroked and grabbed, as if the other was falling into his arms.  He angled his face, dig deeper into the other’s mouth and let his leg between the other, as he enjoyed in the sounds the other made and how they affected him._
> 
> _Intense. Intriguing. Powerful. **Mine.**_
> 
> _The hunger woke inside Kamukura and the force was more than he predicted, more than he imagined for a nimble man who tried to help him, to assist him in any way possible, even when he knew he wasn’t needed._
> 
> _Or he wasn’t until the flames grew inside his body consuming everything._
> 
> _“Please” the other begged against his lips, the wet tongue traced slowly Kamukura’s mouth “Keep going, continue. Don’t stop. Please” And he put again his tongue in the other’s mouth, the satisfaction obvious in the moan he left out._
> 
> _They kissed and yet it felt as intimate and devastating as a sexual encounter, so personal and physical._
> 
> _His body completed the void in his reactions and Kamukura understood certain aspects of his emotional range weren’t taken and he appreciated that._
> 
> _“Mine” Kamukura said as he opened his eyes, Komaeda in front of him and looked as affected and content as he felt._
> 
> _“Yours. Always”_
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

“This must be a fucking joke” he musters as he feels how his slumber now dragged a very interesting dream. He couldn’t pin point if this was a memory or a fantasy, but it felt too real to be a simple musing of his altered mind.

It could also be thanks to Komaeda’s constant insistence at talking and his own interest becoming bigger than his control can manage. It has been three weeks of giving and taking with their memories and experiences after all.

“Get your shit together, Hinata” he says to himself as he wakes up, stands from the bed and goes directly to the bathroom, any possibility of his sleep returning down to zero. He removes his clothes and refuses to acknowledge the way his underwear sticks to himself. “It was just a dream. Just a dream.”

Under the water stream he tries to relax, focus on the tiles, the construction of the shower, the process of heating water, anything that picks up his mind from understanding the embers of a fire still in his body.

No, his eyes still have the image of Komaeda, tender and fragile, open and raw in front of his eyes, looking him with the utmost adoration and with a reverence which hurts his skin to feel. He wanted to melt against Kamukura and Hinata feels like he’s evaporating.

His hands travels down his body and his eyes turn backwards and the dream shifts in his fantasy.

Komaeda kisses him with fervor playing with his long hair, and at the next instant they’re in the cottage from the Neo World Program, the other now caressing his short hair and biting his lips. In both ways completely in his arms, impatient, intense.

He comes and he curses, knowing this will soon blow up in his face.

Hinata tries to go on his daily routine normally: Check the rest of the survivors and their progress, check on Komaeda, eat, check the Neo World Program data, check on Komaeda, sleep.

If only Komaeda did the same.

Or course not.

The morning is ending as his first visit begins, Hinata already preparing himself to face the other knowing what happened this morning. Or maybe as he knows he did that when he was Kamukura, still looking for anything to motivate his life in that good for nothing city.

Damn memories.

_Forget it._

“How are you feeling, Komaeda?” He starts and thanks for his controlled voice to take over.

“Fine. My arm now can grasp anything at will, also I’m trying to not break the table as I grab the plate. Or the plate” Komaeda answers as he sips tea from his breakfast, grabbing the cup with the bionic arm. “Today the cup won’t break”. Hinata nods at this and continues.

“Your legs, can you lift them?” Komaeda does as he requests with his right leg while he keep eating his breakfast without much effort “Perfect. How about the other? If you please, of course” and he gets the action requested done immediately. “Anything to tell me about your limbs, Komaeda?”

“I feel like a small chick sometimes, but otherwise I feel great. Better than even if I’m honest. Thanks for the breakfast again, Hinata.” he answers and then taps his forehead “I can’t believe you’re actually doing something about my chronic diseases. And it’s working. My headaches are less and less painful. What are you giving me?”

“You don’t mind I start speaking in my own world?”

“Have I ever minded that?”

“Point taken” He says and the smile on his lips appear without him noticing, now listing what drugs he used for Komaeda’s treatment “As you know the acetylsalicylic acid contained in aspirin and other painkillers are in small doses and are used to relax the pressure on the bloodstream in your brain, hence softening the veins and arteries and diminishing the pain it causes” He explains and he feels Komaeda’s eyes following his every move, eyes glistening at his explanation like a kid in Christmas opening his presents.

Why he does this?

“However your headaches were caused by a lymphoma, so extirpation and posterior chemotherapy via pills would render that as useless, so I had to take another view of—Komaeda, what’s so interesting about hearing me explain something?” He says after is obvious the other isn’t listening what he’s saying, but he’s enjoying the attention and intent.

Komaeda actually looks at the other way, still excited.

“W-Well, it’s rather different to see you as a savant and yet still the same Hinata I met in the island”

“I did not acquire my talents due to an accident, Komaeda. I do not have Savant Syndrome”.

“It was because human intervention, not you breaking your head against a wall. But same thing. I’m getting used to you. It’s hard” he laughs nervously while he turns back to face Hinata. His hands leave the cup on the table next to his bed and develops the idea he has in the tip of his tongue.

“During the Final Dead Room I saw something about you that completely destroyed what I knew about you during that entire trip, then I see you now and I feel I know nothing about you and yet I know so much” Komaeda’s eyes soften as he continues “It’s like you’re a neverending book and that intrigues me, so I want to understand you, I want to see which other sides of you I haven’t seen yet”

_Too much._

“It’s like I’m seeing a new you, but I know it isn’t, it’s simply a new side, a new color I can add to the collection. A part even you don’t know and that makes butterflies rumble inside me, knowing I have a treasure in my hands”

The air in the room is leaving him. He’s trapped by Komaeda’s excitement and his own heart.

“I’m charmed by you, by Hinata, by Kamukura, by the boy I met on the island, by the one I saw briefly before your project, by the man who put a spell on me after it, by you in Towa City, by you now. I’m still unwrapping you and I can’t get enough of it”

Komaeda’s eyes are shouting to him and Hinata doesn’t know what he wants to do first. He wants to bite him, to kiss him, to speak to him, stay next to him. He wants to dissect his own feelings and Komaeda’s, to give his heart open for the other to examine, to bare himself and let Komaeda understand what he’s unwilling to see.

“You never make it easy, isn’t it?” Hinata sighs and looks at him, hanging to his control as tight as he can, but he knows he will give in soon. And Komaeda know how to pull his strings.

“Why should I? I always have to work hard to get you, Hinata. That’s part of your charm. Even as Kamukura. Or even more now. Working hard to know you is part of the prize”

He always had to fight for everything he wanted in life, it’s weird for him to go under so many transformations in his life and yet in every single one of them Komaeda is just as entranced by him as ever, who wants to fight for him instead. Even more so now that he has all the pieces and Hinata is a puzzle for Komaeda to put together.

He’s the challenge now, he’s the prize, the goal, the first place and Komaeda wants it all.

He feels without air, just like his fantasy (just like his memory) and how Kamukura was experiencing first-hand how devastating primal impulses can be, but now he’s not Kamukura and Komaeda isn’t Servant; they’re different and the same, evolving and moving forward against everything thrown to them.

To hell with it.

Taking the same course will offer the same results and his denial is now thin at Komaeda’s prodding. He gives in, knowing he will let out something he doesn’t want to know.

Well, Komaeda; this time Hinata will bite back.

“I feel there’s other part of me that always gets you, Komaeda” Assertive. Calm. Collected and intense. Komaeda’s eyebrows go upwards at Hinata’s admission. He knows he’s walking on thin ice but the surprise in the other’s eyes keep him going. Invites him to the flames.

“Care to share with the rest, Hinata?” They’re both expectant for what’s to come, not knowing what it will cause “Or are you going to bluff this time only to—“

Escape.

That’s the word Komaeda would’ve said if it Hinata’s tongue wasn’t on his mouth right now, but it is, and Hinata feels like something clicks inside him, closes his eyes and let his mouth guide him. He lost his mind, of course that would happen sooner or later, he can’t be put at this strain with his memories, his every changing talents, his feelings and the supervision of his classmates 24/7 without his control slipping away.

Or maybe that’s the excuse he’s fishing out to explain why he’s finally doing what all this time he desired to be able to do so, without thinking about consequences. Hinata doesn’t care.

He sits on Komaeda’s bed while the kiss continues and the world is ending in their minds and no one cares because they’re finally tasting each other. His mind spins on its own axis and he doesn’t care. He let his hands roam and put them behind Komaeda, pulling the other against his chest while the kiss doesn’t stop and he hears the other’s muffled moans and pleas drowned by his own mouth.

The logic and control hide something under them: hunger. For recognition, for admiration, for approval but mostly for love. Talent and places were a tool to get what he wanted and now, under Komaeda’s complete attention he feels he finally has it and he will be damned, he will let this take its own course.

Komaeda returns the kiss as if his own life was in the line with a need matching his own and Hinata can’t breathe. Komaeda is letting him stick his tongue inside his mouth as he pleases and he feels like he’s dying and living again.

Hinata moves away for a moment, leaving Komaeda some room to take a break but it’s Komaeda the one who follows his mouth, drunk, his lips wet with his own saliva.

“Don’t stop. Please” He begs and, sweet mother of God, someone help him. He keeps his eyes open this time as he kisses him again and he feels he has millions of them, because every detail of Komaeda is currently being engraved on his mind and soul and he wants to cherish them completely. His senses completely awake, taking every small detail into consideration about what he will do next, how can he untangle the messy web Komaeda is dragging him on.

He notices the small tremor in his arms as he holds him, the subtle whines when his tongue leave Komaeda’s mouth for a moment, the satisfied moan when he gets inside again, the breathy sigh as he holds him against his chest and presses him against his chest. His nose twitches when he moans and Komaeda’s eyelids tremble with emotion as he takes the lead in the kiss and how Hinata lets him.

Then Hinata decides to roam a little, wanting to explore more of what is now offered to him. He lowers his lips and let them drag on Komaeda’s neck.

‘Oh, for the– please don’t stop, don’t stop” Komaeda chants to the air, pleading to Hinata, as if he wasn’t as possessed as Komaeda in this instant. His lips taste glory and sweat and he has never loved it more, so he indulged, bites, licks near the pulse of Komaeda’s neck, trusting his own skills to map the best way to tear them both apart “Yes, right there, right–sit me on your lap”.

Komaeda lifts up in the bed and Hinata uses this chance to grab him towards, him, to sit him on his lap while they continue kissing and, just as a test, he moves his hands to Komaeda’s ass and pulls him towards him even more. It gets the reaction he wanted, listening Komaeda’s moan and the tremor going down his spine.

“You’re going to be the death of me” Komaeda punctuates and Hinata can notice how any thread of his sanity is lost, but this is the first time he looks so happy since the island, and Hope’s Peak, and the project and everything in between. “You’re going to kill me and I’ll love you for it”.

Love.

The simple word pours gasoline on him, fuelling any remote feeling on his skin and heart, taking it to the next level.

While still grabbing Komaeda’s ass, he decides to make them collide and God help us all into wherever this may end because Hinata doesn’t mind, he wants to feel and engrave it in his heart. He feels as if this third part of him, between the Logic and the Caution is enjoying the first time it takes command and it will milk this moment as much as it can.

He’s biting Komaeda’s neck tenderly while he pulls the other’s ass towards him, bringing them closer than ever, letting their cocks burn through the clothes, enjoying how Komaeda let him do whatever he wants while his mouth opens and closes, his words now a illegible mumble of ‘please’, ‘Hinata’ and ‘I love you’ against his ears, the heated breathe against his own neck, the white hair covering Hinata’s face and the simple chemistry between skin and teeth destroying them both.

“You did—You did this on purpose” He punctuates against Komaeda’s skin, taking pleasure in the way the other is falling apart just as he does, how he’s not keeping it straight “You wanted me to tell you, to show you, to feel you”

“Yes, yes, yes” he repeats all over as Hinata urges, talks and confesses, and he knows Komaeda wanted to know what was going on inside his head, but he didn’t know what to do with it. He firmly believes Komaeda doesn’t know now either. “Do as you please, let me get under your skin” and he ends with a bite of his own in Hinata’s neck and, God, doesn’t that ignite everything?

“Then kiss me, come and take it”

Komaeda falls into his mouth, it isn’t pretty or tactful, but raw and intense, pouring everything inside him into this kiss, the searing contact building up as Hinata doesn’t stop the movement of Komaeda’s crotch against his own.

It doesn’t take them much to come, but they both silently agree to look at each other’s eyes as they do, seeing their faces and expressions, the blush on their cheeks and the saliva still present on their lips. Komaeda flops on his chest, trying to catch his breath while Hinata does the same, still holding him tight.

“I would say I love you, Komaeda, but—“he admits as the heat of the moment slowly passes, Komaeda’s eyes fixated on him.

“But?” Komaeda urges, expectant.

“But I don’t think it’s enough for everything inside me. It falls short” He breathes deeply as he faces Komaeda “It’s not enough”.

Komaeda can’t help but laugh and tiredly sigh.

“I’m in for a wild ride, isn’t it?”

“I hope you’re ready for it”

The amused laugh Komaeda lets out says it all.

“Never better”.


End file.
